meus intuitus

Archive for November 2013

no regrets

leave a comment »

It is incredibly rare for me that I fall for people.  In my life, there have been perhaps three women that I have really liked.  However with each there were obstacles that urged me to avoid action.  One was a good female friend.  One was a girl whom I met only briefly and was connected with only via Facebook.  One lives very far away and is also an old friend.   Two years ago, I asked out the first female friend.   She did not feel for me the way I felt for her.  One year ago, I reached out to the acquaintance interest on Facebook.  I ended up getting her number and we almost met up when I made a trip (for unrelated reasons) to her city, but she was not available due to work constraints.  Today, I confessed to the second friend.  Like the first, she did not feel for me either.  My instincts are sound and so I was not terribly surprised by either of the two rejections, but the plague of romanticization and the risk of regret required me to act anyway.

Love is a bitch it would seem.  For each of these nonsuccesses, I myself have rejected the affections of others.  There is plenty of heartache to go around it would seem.

Yet I am content.  I have won the wars of both fear and hopeless romanticism. After four years in my small town, I am about to move to a city.  I am at a major turning point in life and now I can go forth without hopeless idealizations, reservations, and regrets.  Today is another milestone in the ongoing story of my conquest of myself.

Advertisements

Written by meusintuitus

November 30, 2013 at 11:15 am

Posted in Uncategorized