meus intuitus

Archive for November 2013

no regrets

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It is incredibly rare for me that I fall for people.  In my life, there have been perhaps three women that I have really liked.  However with each there were obstacles that urged me to avoid action.  One was a good female friend.  One was a girl whom I met only briefly and was connected with only via Facebook.  One lives very far away and is also an old friend.   Two years ago, I asked out the first female friend.   She did not feel for me the way I felt for her.  One year ago, I reached out to the acquaintance interest on Facebook.  I ended up getting her number and we almost met up when I made a trip (for unrelated reasons) to her city, but she was not available due to work constraints.  Today, I confessed to the second friend.  Like the first, she did not feel for me either.  My instincts are sound and so I was not terribly surprised by either of the two rejections, but the plague of romanticization and the risk of regret required me to act anyway.

Love is a bitch it would seem.  For each of these nonsuccesses, I myself have rejected the affections of others.  There is plenty of heartache to go around it would seem.

Yet I am content.  I have won the wars of both fear and hopeless romanticism. After four years in my small town, I am about to move to a city.  I am at a major turning point in life and now I can go forth without hopeless idealizations, reservations, and regrets.  Today is another milestone in the ongoing story of my conquest of myself.


Written by meusintuitus

November 30, 2013 at 11:15 am

Posted in Uncategorized