meus intuitus

contrary compulsions

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It’s odd.  I am so compelled to do things that do not really bring me happiness or satisfaction.  I hardly drink anymore, but Facebook and computer games remain as little vices.  The more I abstain form these, the greater my sense of contentment—especially as I occupy myself with other productivities like reading and study.  However, the compulsion remains omnipresent.

There are clues.  What does it feel like when I check Facebook or play computer games?  I feel like I am yearning for a high—for a distant connection, for a virtual victory.  Alternatively, what does it feel like when I read or study?  It feels more like I am seeking and finding.

The things that we choose to do in our free time…  Some things make promises that they can not keep; and other things are uncompelled treasures simply waiting to be picked up.  Life is a war for our Time and is full of these little battles of vice and virtue.


Written by meusintuitus

April 21, 2013 at 4:26 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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