meus intuitus

abstract curse

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Some people are “big picture” and others are “detail oriented” (on a spectrum of course).  I just made a connection today between my own cognitive style and my volatility of mood.  Of course, I am a big-picture thinker.  I am constantly thinking about the biggest pictures.  I can’t help it and it’s a tad irritating, really.  I am glad for this comedic perspective I have on life, but I imagine that life would be simpler (though not necessarily easier) if I were not contemplating…  the scale of the universe, the entire canvas of my life from the completed to the projected, and the purpose of my existence… every other morning on my walk to the hospital.

Anyhow, my point is that this penchant for big-picture thinking is very related to the “generalization” of thoughts—meaning I can take a small thought, like noticing that some stranger cares not to acknowledge me when we pass in the hallway, and too-easily generalize it; often to something negative like perhaps “humanity is disconnected and we are all far more alone in life than we typically conceive ourselves to be.”  Note that this is just an example and not a proper belief of mine.  Over-generalization is one of the “unhelpful thought patterns” that is identified and neutralized in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  I am glad to have found CBT.  At my discovery of it, my mind was full of this and literally every other “unhelpful thinking pattern” (there are about 10) on the list.  Anyhoo, my point—big-picture thinking is related to over-generlization and catastrophization is related to depressed moods if even little things (like somebody not texting me back) go awry.

What a silly mind I have.  “I call myself a peaceful warrior because the battles I fight are within” indeed.  It has been quite the ordeal rallying my brain, but I have not been without excess.  These past eight months have seen leaps and bounds.


Written by meusintuitus

April 21, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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