meus intuitus

a return

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I have spent four years of my life pondering, studying, meditating to free myself from illusion.  In doing so, my concerns and aspirations became ever less material and ever more fantastical—to reject anything and everything conceivable as a socially learned desire, to shun society in its entirety and wander the world, to make something of a social martyr of myself.  A calm suburban life?  Cocktails in the city?  Sports?  Interests of the ignorant, I spat.  I ceased meditating even.  It made me happy.  Happiness is the emotion of imbeciles.  Yet.  In devaluing all the things my brothers and sisters in this life value, I was left facing void, and my legs buckled before its dead and eternal stare.

Then I felt in myself…  Hate…  for everything; and misery.  Such is not the way.  Such is not Dao.

Now begins a new leg of my spiritual journey.  Now, I turn around—un-turning my back from the illusions.  Now, my journey will not be one of hate, rejection, and contempt, but of love, acceptance, and appreciation.  A single step back.  Thus I begin.


Written by meusintuitus

January 5, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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