meus intuitus

Archive for May 2011

alright well

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There are those who study endlessly and tirelessly—likely more than I do.  The difference is in our perspectives.  I need to consider things as matter-of-factly as they do.  The fact of the matter is that I am in medical school.  Let’s study without remorse.

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May 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm

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fuck

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This is a rigorous organ system after all.  I’ll study through this next weekend.  To hell with being social—it is a waste of time.  To hell with people—they only weigh me down.  The only person you can count on in medical school is yourself.  Nobody else can study for you.

I hate them all—they way they cruise through their readings and find themselves prepared.  Fuck them.  Fuck all the people that are gifted with the things that I have not.

I am a fish out of water being ordered to sprint.

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May 30, 2011 at 9:47 am

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rapture

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Even belief beyond the shadow of doubt can not stand against fact.

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May 21, 2011 at 1:05 pm

distant graduations

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It’s that time of year again—the spring of the bittersweet.  In the season of commencement, my mind has one enduring setting:  Nostalgic.  Where has my past year gone?  This has been the fastest year thus far—driven mercilessly by the pace of medical school.  I miss the days when the summers were long, life was eternal, and I was immortal.  I am far too mortal for my liking now.

I have many friends graduating this month.  It is no longer the case that I have moved on and they remain.  We are all moving on now—well, we always have been, but more officially and more completely now.  I pray that they find happiness, meaning, and contentment in the coming years.

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May 11, 2011 at 6:55 pm

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rest and relaxation

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Thirty minutes of meditation does more for me than twelve hours of facebook, computer games, and movies.

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May 8, 2011 at 7:52 am

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the esoteric

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Were are not here to be enlightened.  We are already enlightened.  We are here to be immersed in the drama of ignorance.  Those who appreciate this may smile upon life like lucid dreamers.

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May 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm

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release

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My internment was nearing an end. All my things were packed into a plastic zippered bag. Stapled to it was a form documenting each item. The bailiff, an lean, middle-aged black man, triggered the time-delayed lock of the first steel door. With a buzz, the door clanked open and we entered a hallway. The bailiff pinched a ringed key before leading us down the hallway and opening the next door. We walked through and found ourselves in an empty warehouse-like space. We were led along the wall until we reached the final steel door. A sanguine exit sign glowed indifferently above it.

“This is it, gentlemen.” The bailiff said as he triggered the time-delayed lock. The door buzzed then clanked and groaned. It was dark out. A cool breeze greeted us and we drew it in before stepping out.

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May 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

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