meus intuitus

Archive for December 2010

note to self

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Some evidence that America is corporatist and oligarchical:

1)  Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission.  Corporations are allowed unlimited spending in support of political campaigns.

2)  In 1945, the tax rate on the highest incomes was 94%; in 1978, it was 70%; today, it is 35%.  Under Clinton, the tax rate on the highest incomes was 40%.  This latest cut had a chance to expire.  Congress extended it.

3)  Corporate tax loopholes remain—even as the nation bankrupts and even if closing them would pay for health care for 9/11 first responders.

4)  Senators and congressmen are allowed to hold shares of government contractors—senator buys Lockheed Martin stock, senator supports increased defense spending, senator profits.

Multiplying our problems is the fact that the largest media networks will never provide accurately damning analyses of the current political situation.  The media is a subject of the same corporations and people that the politicians are.

The good news is that I am going into the health care field.  The pharmaceutical and health insurance industries have my back to a certain extent.  Affordable health care for America?  Not likely.  As a physician of this world, I will do all that I can for my patients.  As a citizen of a corporatist oligarchy, I’ll be getting mine.

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December 17, 2010 at 6:26 am

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bradley manning

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This is Bradley Manning, the United States citizen and Army Private First Class who leaked hundreds of thousands of documents to Wikileaks.  While I do not love the latest leak (diplomatic cables), I do respect the mission of Bradley Manning and Julian Assange—that is, government accountability, transparency, and a free and informed world.  Of course, the world we live in is far from the world idealized by these (and millions of other) men (and women).  The world we live in is one where people with power are free to use their power—justly, unjustly, even inhumanely—and, with that same power, are able to escape judgment.  Bradley Manning and Julian Assange are both being held in solitary confinement (23 hours per day every day in a cement cell) without due process.  It should be noted that solitary confinement is one of the most massively psychologically damaging experiences any human can undergo.  It is not uncommon for persons subjected to extended solitary confinement to suffer psychoses for the rest of their lives.  American prison inmates and ex-POWs have attested to this countless times.  Much of the European Union has banned the practice for this reason.  There is a New Yorker article on this.

Julian Assange is to be known to the masses as a hacker and a terrorist. He is the sensational celebrity scapegoat. The publicity of his crimes and punishments are to bury Bradley Manning. Bradley Manning is to be, at best, forgotten and, at least, remembered as some form of disturbed.

Don’t say anything.  Just keep your head down.  Just keep working.

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December 15, 2010 at 8:51 pm

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a world full of misfits

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There is no sanity.  People are all weird as hell.  I love it.

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December 15, 2010 at 3:11 pm

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day one

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Woke up.  First day clean.  Feeling good, hahaha.

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December 13, 2010 at 4:56 am

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quitting again

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Oy.  I shouldn’t have started playing computer games again.  Even though I didn’t play much these past few weeks, thinking about playing was a bit of a distraction during my studies.  Quitting that ish.  Last week, final exam, gotta study hard.

It would be best if I quit completely—that is, no gaming even over break.  There are other things that aren’t as addictive as gaming I can occupy myself with.  This break, when I’m not with friends, I think I’ll be watching lots of movies and getting through a book.  It’s been a while since I’ve read a book.

That’s it.  I’ve done some reading on video game addiction and now I’m going to quit cold turkey.  It sounds funny, but it really isn’t—especially not with the demanding life I am living.  Virtual conquests are satisfying.  I like the way I feel when I win.  It’s not unlike a drug high at all.  Also, one game is certainly never enough.  An alcoholic can’t drink just one beer.  I can’t play just one game.  It’s not a great feeling after some six hours of playing when you stop, look around, and see what has become of your day.

Games are an escape.  They can help people de-stress—take their mind off things.  However, like alcohol and drugs, they are not an answer.  My time would be better spent meditating.  My mind-vice is strong in meditation, lulz.

P.S.  Jack Donaghy (from 30 Rock) is my hero.  He invented the mind-vice.

“I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men’s club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice.  But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.”

“Put your mental burden in my mind-vice and I will crush it.”

“Oh no… Crush it!  Oh god… here comes my childhood.” *high-pitched weeping*

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December 12, 2010 at 4:27 pm

joyous insomnia

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I need to stop working out at 9:00 PM.  It definitely interferes with my falling asleep.  Yet I am not very bothered by my temporary insomnia tonight.  For the last hour, I have been lying in bed being nothing but excited about life.

I absolutely love medical school.  My mind has stimulation, my life has direction, my days have purpose.  There is nowhere else in the world that I would rather be right now.  There is no joy like that of a deliberate and profound life in execution—not clubs, not whores, not all the luxury in the world.

I am happy not only for my current situation, but also for things to come.  I will be applying to an international medical student exchange this summer.  I’m looking to do neurology or oncology research in the Czech Republic.  It’s an incredible opportunity.  A foundation of purpose for an incredible experience abroad.

Beyond that, I am looking forward to a rewarding career in neurology or oncology.  These are my current specialty interests.  Why I feel they are fit for me I will write about in depth another time.  In short, their practice involves fair hours, fair compensation, and ample opportunity for me to listen, analyze, and empathize.

No joke.  I’m having the time of my life in medical school.

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December 8, 2010 at 10:36 pm

night owl

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I’ve tried sleeping at 11:00 PM to get a square eight hours of sleep for a 7:00 AM wake-up.  What ends up happening is I lie down in bed and my mind wanders for an hour or two before I actually fall asleep.  Waste of time.  It doesn’t matter how great my sleep deficit is (I’ve been getting around six hours of sleep for the past week), my body just doesn’t go to sleep at 11:00 PM.  Frustrating.

It may be that I’m pushing productivity too hard until 10:00 PM.  Maybe I need to start vegetating around 9:00 PM to make the 11:00 PM train.

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December 7, 2010 at 3:01 pm

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