meus intuitus

Archive for October 2010

Jon Stewart’s Sanity Speech

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“I can’t control what people think this was. I can only tell you my intentions. This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith. Or people of activism or to look down our noses at the heartland or passionate argument or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear. They are and we do. But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies.

Unfortunately, one of our main tools in delineating the two broke. The country’s 24-hour politico pundit panic conflict-onator did not cause our problems, but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems and illuminate problems heretofore unseen, or it can use its magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected dangerous-flaming-ant epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.

There are terrorists and racists and Stalinists and theocrats, but those are titles that must be earned. You must have the resume. Not being able to distinguish between real racists and tea partiers, or real bigots and Juan Williams and Rich Sanchez is an insult—not only to those people, but to the racists themselves, who have put forth the exhausting effort it takes to hate. Just as the inability to distinguish between terrorists and Muslims makes us less safe, not more.

The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything we eventually get sicker. And perhaps eczema. Yet, with that being said, I feel good. Strangely, calmly good, because the image of Americans that is reflected back to us by our political and media process is false. It is us through a funhouse mirror, and not the good kind that makes you slim and taller—but the kind where you have a giant forehead and an ass like a pumpkin and one eyeball.

So, why would we work together? Why would you reach across the aisle to a pumpkin-assed forehead eyeball monster? If the picture of us were true, our inability to solve problems would actually be quite sane and reasonable. Why would you work with Marxists actively subverting our Constitution or racists and homophobes who see no one’s humanity but their own? We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is—on the brink of catastrophe—torn by polarizing hate and how it’s a shame that we can’t work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day. The only place we don’t is here or on cable TV. Americans don’t live here or on cable TV. Where we live our values and principles form the foundation that sustains us while we get things done, not the barriers that prevent us from getting things done.

Most Americans don’t live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it’s something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.

These cars—that’s a school teacher who thinks taxes are too high… there’s a mom with two kids who can’t think about anything else…another car, the lady’s in the NRA. She loves Oprah… an investment banker, gay, also likes Oprah… a Latino carpenter… a fundamentalist vacuum salesman… a Mormon Jay Z fan… but this is us. Everyone of the cars that you see is filled with individuals of strong belief and principles they hold dear—often principles and beliefs in direct opposition to their fellow travelers.

And yet these millions of cars must somehow find a way to squeeze one by one into a mile-long, 30-foot wide tunnel carved underneath a mighty river… and they do it. Concession by concession. You go. Then I’ll go. You go, then I’ll go. You go, then I’ll go—oh my god, is that an NRA sticker on your car, an Obama sticker on your car? Well, that’s OK. You go and then I’ll go… ”Sure, at some point there will be a selfish jerk who zips up the shoulder and cuts in at the last minute, but that individual is rare and he is scorned; and he is not hired as an analyst.

Because we know instinctively as a people that if we are to get through the darkness and back into the light we have to work together and the truth is, there will always be darkness. And sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t the promised land. Sometimes it’s just New Jersey. But we do it anyway, together.

If you want to know why I’m here and what I want from you I can only assure you this: You have already given it to me. Your presence was what I wanted. Sanity will always be and has always been in the eye of the beholder. To see you here today and the kind of people that you are has restored mine. Thank you.”

~ Jon Stewart, Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

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Written by meusintuitus

October 30, 2010 at 8:00 pm

hard fought mediocrity

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My score on this most recent exam has been drastically improved compared to the last one, but for all the promise of my new methods and determination, I am still far from the cream.  Disappointment aside, a victory is a victory—I have made enormous progress.  I now have a method that works.  With some tuning and still more dedication, I may achieve the standing that I desire.

There are no workaholics in medicine—only dedicated physicians.

Written by meusintuitus

October 24, 2010 at 7:54 am

Posted in expression

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failed exam

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a blow been dealt that staggered me
I did not wince nor cry aloud
vicious tho it seemed to be
my head is bloodied but unbowed

This failure… has made me more determined than ever to succeed.

Written by meusintuitus

October 10, 2010 at 11:17 am

Posted in expression

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custom fit virtue

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This has been a very good month. Despite the challenge of medical school, I have gained and begun to apply an enormous amount of insight. It’s amazing what knowing myself and living true to myself can do.

All the meditation and reading I had done paid off in an insight that came yesterday while I was at the gym: All the angst that I have felt throughout my entire life has been tied to my acceptance of certain values that are not my own—expectations embedded into me (by the dominant society) that do not resonate with who I am.

I forge my own values.

Written by meusintuitus

October 9, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Posted in expression

to see or not to see

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The prevailing sentiment in mainstream western thought (or lack thereof) is that the world must be experienced to be known and enjoyed. As subscribers to this sentiment, most people in America take every opportunity they can to get out of their homes—eating, drinking, traveling. Such is the logos of the masses.

However, ask the masses when the last time was they had their views pleasantly challenged, their perspective altered, their life changed, and what you will find is that, by and large, people learn little from the world they experience.

Written by meusintuitus

October 8, 2010 at 6:05 pm

life dynamic

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I need a paradigm shift with regards to this issue of “friends.” I’ve gotten used to having a circle of certain kinds of people as friends. Now with the small class size of medical school, I no longer have this luxury. I can no longer afford a single “circle” nor can I afford to be too picky with whom I associate with.

I have done a great deal of growing in this past month and a half. Having family in undergrad was wonderful, but it was too comfortable. It prevented me from really understanding myself—especially in this individualistic American society. Now, far from the comfort of any solid family, I am learning many new things about myself. This is very important. I am finally beginning to see just how distinctive and complicated a person I am. Application of this self-knowledge has already helped me a great deal—and if I am vigilant, I will become increasingly able to side-step my weaknesses, harness my gifts, and lead a truly incredible life.

Written by meusintuitus

October 2, 2010 at 8:37 am

Posted in contemplation

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