meus intuitus

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

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No wonder I find “going out” tiresome. For a while I thought I had changed from an introvert to a bit of an extrovert. It seems that what I really did was just become a more assured introvert, which fooled the Myers-Briggs Test (and myself).

This post comes because… medical school started–new place, new people. Without my undergrad friend (family) circle, I was/am strongly pressured to be very sociable again–and boy, did/do I feel it. Orientation week was… “fun.” I drank a lot. I chatted a lot, but damn, is that shit draining. These following weeks were not much better as the process of making connections and friends has only just begun. It’s been so tiresome that I have been led to Google things about extroversion/introversion–and I stumbled upon these articles. Then, I was like, “AH-HAH! This explains it.”

“I realized that it was just not my idea of fun to party. In fact, I couldn’t see why anyone would want to—I get so monumentally bored at parties. So I realized that I had this fundamental difference with a lot of other people. I didn’t put a name on it until a few years ago when a friend of mine, who reads a lot of Jung, informed me that he’s an introvert and that, “by the way, Jonathan, you’re an introvert, too.” He explained what that means and suddenly a light bulb went on and things fell into place.” -Sage Stossel

I realize now that unless I am getting absolutely hammered (nothing matters then), what I do at parties, bars, and clubs is “tolerate.” Being around that many people at once is not my idea of relaxing or fun. However, I do seem to do a good job tolerating parties as people often mistake me for an extrovert.

I despise banter. If I can’t steer a conversation to something at least slightly substantial, purposeful, or witty, I doze.

There is no introvert “gay-dar…” “One reason [for this] is that a lot of introverts are actually very good at being social. It just takes a lot of work for them. I’m like that. I’m not great at small talk, but I can seem quite outgoing…” -Sage Stossel

“Once an introvert gets on a subject that they know about or care about or that intrigues them intellectually… they get passionately engaged and turned on by the conversation. But it’s not socializing that’s going on there. It’s learning or teaching or analyzing, which involves, I’m convinced, a whole different part of the brain from the socializing part.” -Sage Stossel

“I am not morose or misanthropic… usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests.” -Sage Stossel

“There’s nothing small about small talk if you’re an introvert, but we’re good at big talk.” -Sage Stossel

Perfect.

tl;dr: Save the banter for someone else. Share with me your most cherished hopes, your deepest insecurities, and purpose of your existence. You do have a purpose, don’t you?

1, 2, 3

edit: A few more interesting and amusing tidbits…

During intense social outings like bars, clubs, and parties, I have always found trips to the bathroom soothing. In one of the sites, there is a quote on catching your social breath, “Go to the bathroom, where all good introverts hide at parties.” HAHAH SO true. Quiet, alone, peaceful *ahhhh.*

I used to always feel extremely anxious the day after a party. I never understood it, but as it turns out this is another product of my innately introverted tendencies. First off, parties force me to chat and be around people more than I would prefer, so naturally, I’d be a bit over-cognizant of what I’d done the night before. Add to this the fact that alcohol loosens people up so I’d be more likely to say or do ridiculous things. Beyond that, even, alcohol increases a certain neuro-messenger that enhances feelings of anxiety the day after. Jeez, no wonder I always felt so off…

This also explains why I prefer scenic destinations to urban destinations. In nature, I can hang out and contemplate the magnificence life and existence etc. etc., but in the city, the thing to do is bar hop, club, and chat *retch.* LOL.

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Written by meusintuitus

September 1, 2010 at 7:32 pm

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