meus intuitus

Archive for September 2010

medical school is hard

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I’m not too well organized. I messed up with time management today. I missed a workout today. I’m scraping by. Tonight… For the first time since starting medical school, I’m feeling in over my head. It’s just all kind of bearing down on me at last. I can’t wait to get my preparation for tomorrow out of the way and take some time to unwind. I need it bad tonight.


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September 29, 2010 at 7:40 pm

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…it is the frosting of entrees.

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September 26, 2010 at 8:51 pm

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comedy central is no joke

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The Daily Show, with John Stewart, featuring recent guests like Tony Blair, Jimmy Carter, and King Abdullah II (of Jordan)–discussing extremism, distortion in American media, and the middle east peace talks.

I watched the Daily Show today and caught Mr. Stewart’s interview with King Abdullah II. I was extremely impressed. Television is bullshit. History Channel, Discovery Channel, Scifi, CNN, FOX–it’s all bullshit. Then, there’s Comedy Central… oh my there is Comedy Central. Comedy Central is a troll in the idiocratic sea of cable television. With the premise of providing shits and giggles, Comedy Central engages viewers who laugh, at first, but think… and think critically, at last. It’s subtle. It’s smart…

Jimmy Carter: “I’ve heard about a rally. So you’re getting involved in politics?”

John Stewart: “No, but it’s going to be pretty funny.”

…It’s the seed of exactly what America needs.

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September 23, 2010 at 8:26 pm


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This latest typology revisit has been useful for a few insights, but it has been a double-edged sword. With all the reading I had done on the topic, I began to re-internalize many of the damning weaknesses of INFJ. For a while, I forgot who I became. I forgot who I am.

I forgot that my preferences are not born of weakness, but of understanding. I do not bother with certain people because I sense a futile ignorance in them. I do not enjoy certain activities because they are profoundly pointless. I do not live a certain way because I have already attempted it and found it boring, idiotic, and intolerable. I have my convictions and they are the pistons driving my indomitable will.

Creation be damned. The Earth is filled with people of great loudness and little wisdom. Theirs is the kind that populates the world, but mine is the kind that progresses it.

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September 20, 2010 at 12:02 pm

buick is the new honda

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It trumped Lexus in reliability in a 2009 study by J.D. Power!

Thank gosh American cars are catching up. I’m tired of driving Japanese. They’re just so bland. A Buick would be a great commuter car–very comfortable ride, reliable, and cheap! BMWs and Benz’s are sport and luxury rolled into one. I think what I like is more differentiated roles in my cars. Well, for now, the plan for a decade from now (lol) is a Regal and an Evo!

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September 16, 2010 at 8:59 am

Posted in current events

fortunate shackles

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As tough as it is, medical school really is great. I am certain that one day I will look back on these days and long for the quiet hours alone at study–a most purposeful of solitudes. Like all the stages of my life before this one, two characteristics permeate my experience: Certainty and carelessness.

Here, in medical school, life is preset–a preset direction, definition, and purpose. We are afforded a certain carefree-ness rooted in not having to deal with the enormous responsibility of our one and only life… because for now we are here, and can only be here, in medical school.

I wonder what it will be like–the day on which the rest of my life is laid out before me–when residency ends and I step into a new world for the last time–the “real world.”

No longer will life be a sketch pad upon which I prototype my identity–high school, college, medical school. One day, life will spread before me, the canvas upon which I paint my masterpiece.

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September 14, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Posted in contemplation

exit the rat race

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With the stability and income bracket that my future career promises, I am provided with a marvelous opportunity, I realize. We live in a society that values, first and foremost, material things. Life, for many, is just a ridiculous dick-measuring contest–who has the most expensive car, the biggest house, the finest clothes. We get an education not just to ensure ourselves a living, but for a chance at a certain consumerist definition of “success.” This particular form of success is really just a game and most people play it thinking it is life. Those with granite countertops and Cadillacs are the victors–to an extent. Those with five houses and Bentleys are victors–to a greater extent. It’s all relative. The thing about the game is that there is no winning it. There are always bigger houses to buy and faster cars to drive.

Having realized the trivial nature of the game, one has two options: Play it or quit it. This is, in fact, a step up from not seeing the game for what it is–when one has but one option (play it).

From here on out, I need to cultivate my own perspective and opinions to reflect those of someone who exists outside of the game. This does not mean that I will wear burlap sacks and live in caddy shacks. Rather, it means developing the capacity to say with full belief and contentment that enough is enough. Making $200,000 a year doesn’t mean that I have to buy a house and a car that reflects such an income. Instead of acquiring things that fit our incomes, we should acquire things that fit us.

For many of us, that means a big house and a BMW. However, I really like the idea of living modestly–and leaving the money for things that I truly enjoy: Dining out, travel, family, etc. I want a house for living in, not showing off (throwing dinner parties and all that noise). I want a car that is practical, not pretentious. If I do indulge in cars, I want them to deliver performance, not status–and in that case, the car would be a means of enjoying my life more: Taking it to the track, tuning it myself, driving, learning, experiencing.

What car you drive really can tell people a lot about you. I want my cars to say “practicality” and “capability.” What cars say such things? A Honda Accord and a Lancer Evolution. The Accord is a workhorse for commuting. The Evo is a performance beast (without the pretension of a German brand).

tl;dr: The less money you spend on the game, the more money you have to spend on your life.

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September 9, 2010 at 10:35 pm

Posted in contemplation, expression

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