meus intuitus

dormitory life

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…never again

This cubicle… My space is contained to the area underneath my lofted bed. The rest of the room, the rest of the building, is shared space. I detest having my sleep disturbed by alarms whose calls are not directed at me. I detest having my studies and meditations disturbed by the routines of countless others, be they the comings and goings of my roommate or the dregs who kick and bounce balls in the hallway just outside my door. I was overly-optimistic about this housing choice. Certainly, there are times when I am content with it, but, I am just as frequently frustrated.

I detest this chair. This blasted chair. This chair that is my couch, my futon, my office seat, my place of work, my place of relaxation, my precise place of residence. Always, I come home to this damn chair. This damned chair underneath this damned lofted bed.

Always, I must be troubled by some concern of what is socially acceptable. Always, I come home and stare at this damned computer screen–for to stare at nothing would be peculiar. I want to stare at nothing sometimes.

I do not blame others for a situation that I have put myself into; and for frustrations that I, personally, can not overcome–but I am bitter nonetheless. Surely, if I am strong enough of mind, I can make my peace even in this situation. However, thus far, I have not proven to be so strong.

I miss the understanding arms of my dear, Solitude.

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Written by meusintuitus

February 22, 2010 at 9:55 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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