meus intuitus

Archive for February 2010

giving up

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…the pursuit of perfection

I will always…
make mistakes on tests
write papers that miss the point
botch experiments
cause some drama
be less fit than some…
and weaker than others
fail to understand people…
including those close to me

I will accept all this
because I have only this life
and I will not waste my time
with pursuits as meaningless as perfection…

…in career, body, finances, romances, friends, family, blogs…

I give up on it all

=)

Written by meusintuitus

February 22, 2010 at 10:59 pm

dormitory life

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…never again

This cubicle… My space is contained to the area underneath my lofted bed. The rest of the room, the rest of the building, is shared space. I detest having my sleep disturbed by alarms whose calls are not directed at me. I detest having my studies and meditations disturbed by the routines of countless others, be they the comings and goings of my roommate or the dregs who kick and bounce balls in the hallway just outside my door. I was overly-optimistic about this housing choice. Certainly, there are times when I am content with it, but, I am just as frequently frustrated.

I detest this chair. This blasted chair. This chair that is my couch, my futon, my office seat, my place of work, my place of relaxation, my precise place of residence. Always, I come home to this damn chair. This damned chair underneath this damned lofted bed.

Always, I must be troubled by some concern of what is socially acceptable. Always, I come home and stare at this damned computer screen–for to stare at nothing would be peculiar. I want to stare at nothing sometimes.

I do not blame others for a situation that I have put myself into; and for frustrations that I, personally, can not overcome–but I am bitter nonetheless. Surely, if I am strong enough of mind, I can make my peace even in this situation. However, thus far, I have not proven to be so strong.

I miss the understanding arms of my dear, Solitude.

Written by meusintuitus

February 22, 2010 at 9:55 am

Posted in Uncategorized

going to sleep content

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…and waking up in a melancholy is irritating.

Written by meusintuitus

February 17, 2010 at 12:25 am

Posted in contemplation

Tagged with ,

evening mood

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upon an eternal
slice I lay
a sliver alike
ones came before

between two pages
I exist I stay
for now until
I cast from shore

none can deny me
this shard of mine
so ordinary
and complete

for in this modest
sliver of time
I’m happy
and asleep

Written by meusintuitus

February 15, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Said the Shotgun to the Head, excerpt

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“Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation.  Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you.  Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again – the first kiss of the rest of your life.  A kiss that confirms that the universe is aligned, that the world’s greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman.  With or without a belief in God, all kisses are metaphors decipherable by allocations of time, circumstance, and understanding.” ~Saul Williams

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February 14, 2010 at 6:13 pm

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Is it possible to be happy?

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I blog about the matter of happiness because it is the most important thing we can understand in our lives. Certainly, there are other topics worthy of discussion. However, when the entirety of one’s life is taken into consideration, what can matter more than how one has experienced it–that is, in the grips of neuroticism and melancholy or in the embrace of peace and joy?

So here is another tidbit of wisdom I gleaned from reddit.

“Is it possible to be happy?”

What a sad question. To ask such a question assumes that happiness is to be sought and that unhappiness is the norm. Try, instead…

“Is it possible to be unhappy?”

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.” ~James Oppenheim

Written by meusintuitus

February 13, 2010 at 7:33 pm

Posted in contemplation

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Hmm…

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There doesn’t seem to be anything here.

Written by meusintuitus

February 4, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Posted in contemplation