meus intuitus

Freestyle Forever

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Medical school was looming, responsibilities were growing, and I was not making any great progress in becoming an acknowledge-able dancer at b-boy jams.  I began to think only about the futility of my efforts.  I was ready to give up.  I began to excuse myself by telling myself that I would soon have “higher” and more noble things to tend to.

I “knew” that my dance was about self-expression, but I did not fully internalize it.  I was bogged down by concerns regarding my lack of the flashiest moves, perfect footwork, and competitiveness.  However, I now realize that those concerns are all external.  Shallow.  Flashy moves are meaningful only so long as they embody who I am.  Perfect footwork is desirable only in the context of spectators.  Competition matters only if I both partake in it and care about it.

I dance for, above all else, myself.  Peer and public recognition is enjoyable, but only because it is recognition of my expression… my self.  I do not need acrobatics.  I do not need perfection.  I will always have music so I will always dance.  I will dance with others.  I will dance in my home.  I will dance in public.  I will dance alone.  I will dance.


Written by meusintuitus

January 21, 2010 at 10:50 am

Posted in contemplation

Tagged with , , ,

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